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Gossip blog D-Listed has some thoroughly ridic pics of Shauna Sand and her beau strolling along the beach, Ms. Sand wearing her lucite stripper heels.

Girlfriend – I know these shoes are your trademark.  But seriously – platform stripper heels on the beach?  Aside from looking ridiculous, that also looks like a broken anke.

Maybe her hamstrings have just freakishly shortened after years of wearing 7″ heels and she can’t walk flat-footed anymore.  That must be the only explanation for why someone would give up that lovely toes in the warm sand feeling to teeter around on platforms.

Sometimes the universe just aligns, with shoes, as with all things.

On Valentine’s Day (or, VD as I keep reading, which just makes me think of oozing herp sores), I posted about glass slippers for the modern-day Cinderella, including a delightful acrylic platform that shared the name of Ice-T’s blushing bride Coco. Thankfully, in my non-titillating existence, the fug clear-plastic wonders are a very rare sighting in the flesh.

Imagine my shock and awe when tonight, perusing guilty pleasure D-Listed, the first post on the page was a confounding Coco T&A attack. EGADS! That woman’s busom has been so surgically enhanced that it’s hard to know which end is the T and which is the A. Is that a sternum or a butt cleft? Ever helpful, Ice-T is directing traffic with his handy feather duster (incidentally, I am totally in love with his wig and sunglasses combo in that picture).

D-Listed reports on an interview given by Coco in which she reveals what sounds like a full-on shoe fetish (among other things). Apparently Ice-T loves a lady in heels. LOVES. Shoe radar fully engaged at this point, I notice that the post references Shauna Sand. I have no idea who that is, but she appears to be a serious repeat offender when it comes to stripper shoes.

Further down the page is a video of this Shauna femme sashaying around in a pair of acrylic platform shoes, dragging her sweet, bewildered little daughter to a karate class. I guess the clear plastic spike platforms never took off with the soccer mom crowd because the heels would get stuck in the turf.

Cosmic.

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