Shoe mecca Solestruck is carrying some crazy patriotic “stars and stripes” shoes for my neighbours south of the border.  Pictured above, Irregular Choice + The Cobra Snake “Chica Chola Flag”.  You know The Cobra Snake is involved when the advertising features a pantsless underage girl wearing a polar bear jacket in the middle of summer, inexplicably lounging on the pavement in front of a car.

But before you throw down your $200 for that fine piece of work, the really awesome patriotic shoes on offer are from Jeffrey Campbell.  He’s put out stars and stripes in four different styles:

I think I like the pingpong best, probably because it is just so weird…and the platform sandals remind me too much of the 90s, a decade best forgotten for fashion.

Anyway neighbours, I hope you’re having an excellent party, celebrating your independence while the British monarchy tours just to the north of you.  Don’t get puke on your $200 shoes.